How to REALLY HELP someone who has to cope with depression

RT @SisMargitt

Through the years I’ve had many depressions, as well due to my illnesses (bipolar disorder and others) as due to my traumatic childhood. I’ve been coping with this awful illness for over 20 years.


I’ve even managed to help others get through depressions.

I know a lot of my friends are coping with depressions too.

Something I always notice is that one of the most given advices to a depressed person is to pray…

I know you mean well sweet people and please realize I do not mean to offend anyone with what I’m about to say now!

When you give advice to someone who’s dealing with depression, or coping with depressive feelings, please be very careful. If you do not know what it’s like, it most likely is better if you do NOT give any advice. Just offer your support, hugs, love etc.

One of the most often given advices is to “pray”. I know when you see someone hurt, you want to help them as much as you can and as Sisters and Brothers we all know that Jehovah is the best person to help someone. However, when someone is feeling depressed, he or she most likely has already cried out to Jehovah! Telling someone at that point to pray can give that person the feeling he or she doesn’t pray enough and even can make him or her think it’s their own fault just because they didn’t pray enough…

When someone gives me that advice when I’m so depressed, it always make me feel like a failure even more, because it gives me the idea I do not try hard enough and that’s why I feel so bad… I know they mean well, but when someone is in the middle of a depression, it can be hard. As if we do not pray enough! So I tend to avoid giving this as advice to someone who is feeling (regularly) depressed.

Someone who’s depressed often CANNOT think straight and although such advice is meant well and given with all the right intentions, the depressed person often cannot see it as you meant it!

Often depressions are caused because of diseases or trauma. It is not our fault, and it CANNOT be avoided by praying, just as Jehovah doesn’t stop other illnesses to hit us. Jehovah does help us to cope, to get through it, to learn to live with it in the best way possible while still in this system. And he even does so when we do not ask him! Because it can happen that when someone is depressed, he or she doesn’t feel worthy to ask Jehovah anything.

Sometimes I’m not able to pray at those darkest times, just because I see myself as unworthy and feel guilty of being so unhappy while Jehovah has blessed me so much… Also I often do not care anymore when I’m really deep. Then I don’t care if he helps or not, because I don’t want to live and feel like I don’t deserve to live. So when someone says to me at that very moment to pray, it often makes me even hate myself more, because I can’t and therefore it’s my own fault etc.

However, this does NOT matter to Jehovah! He knows how we suffer when we feel that way. HE HELPS US ANYWAY, IF WE ASK HIM OR NOT!

So if you want to REALLY help a depressed person, you can do this best to just listen to their cry, assure them that you are there for them, hug them, make them feel loved and appreciated, and above all: assure them that Jehovah will help them through this! (NO matter if they can pray or not!)


And YOU yourself CAN pray for them: to endure, to get through, to hold on and to get back up. YOU CAN ask Jehovah to help them!

Some supportive Scriptures:

(Psalm 121:2) My help is from Jehovah, The Maker of heaven and earth.

(Psalm 34:18) Jehovah is near to those that are broken at heart; And those who are crushed in spirit he saves.

(Psalm 34:15) The eyes of Jehovah are toward the righteous ones, And his ears are toward their cry for help.

(Psalm 40:1) I earnestly hoped in Jehovah, And so he inclined [his ear] to me and heard my cry for help.

(Isaiah 41:13) For I, Jehovah your God, am grasping your right hand, the One saying to you, ‘Do not be afraid. I myself will help you.’

(Psalm 55:22) Throw your burden upon Jehovah himself, And he himself will sustain you. Never will he allow the righteous one to totter.